Ominous Breeze II
by Mateba
Summary: Kakasaku - A mistake may cost Kakashi more than he ever imagined. Repost at request of EveTwo
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I only own this story, none of the characters.

**OMINOUS BREEZE **

Sakura sat at the edge of the bed looking with sad eyes at the naked form of the man she loved. Her eyes traveled from the bottom of the sheets that outlined his strong legs up his torso where his well defined abs could be seen. She continued her gaze up his broad chest, watching it rise and fall under his even breathing. She moved her hand to caress him, starting at his well defined jaw, straight nose and messy silver hair, but stopped when she was just about to touch him. He was lying here, in their bed, and yet it felt like he was so far away. She brought her hand down to her side and continued to stare at the man she loved with all her heart, body and soul.

She remembered the first time she gave herself to him. It had been magical, a night filled with emotion, friction and pleasure. He had loved her then, she was sure, and she had been happy like she had never been happy before. Her hand moved on the sheets beside him, outlining his body but not touching him. When had he stopped loving her, she wondered. A lone tear made her way down her cheek and she turned away. She was shattered, her heart was not only broken but her whole self and being were shattered. She knew what she was risking by loving this man, and she wiped her tear as she thought that she would do it again.

She stood up from the bed when a hand shot up to grab her wrist.

"It's still early," he said sleepily.

"I have a mission."

The sound in her voice made him open his eyes wide. He stared at her slumped back, the tight fitted black uniform on her womanly curves, gloves on her toned arms and the red tattoo staring back at him. There was something in her voice, something he didn't want to hear in her voice.

"When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure. It's one of those missions."

He looked to the ceiling as he tightened his hold on her wrist.

"Be safe," he said as he let go of her. But unlike other times, she didn't reply and just exited the bedroom.

Kakashi continued to stare at the ceiling, his mind and heart heavy with guilt. Why was he doing this to her? When had things gotten so out of control? He loved her, he knew this much was certain. He had loved her for so long, adored her in their time together. Just like a minute ago, when he felt her heat diminish and as usual moved his hand to keep her next to him a bit longer, he felt a connection to her that he didn't share with anyone else. So why was he sleeping with Kurenai? He ran his hands through his messy locks berating himself. He should have never taken that bet, he should have never gotten that drunk and he should have never gone to that bed.

Just now the pain in her voice, the missing green eyes staring at him lovingly saying without words that she would be alright, that she would come back to him, it had made his heart ache and his chest tighten. If he loved her this much, if she really was the woman he had committed himself to, why was he doing this to her? He felt so dirty all of a sudden, making love to her last night when he had been with Kurenai hours before. He didn't deserve her, but he loved her and couldn't let her go. Kurenai was supposed to be a one night stand, a drunken mistake that wouldn't be repeated, but that was two months ago and he still found himself in her bed once a week.

_I'm doing my friend a favor, _he had told himself. Kurenai had begged him to come to her again after that first encounter. She trusted him, she had said, and no man pursued her out of loyalty to Asuma. 'Women have needs too, Kakashi' she had said. And he had obliged because he cared about her, because she was his friend, but he felt dirty every time and the guilt slowly consumed him and was destroying his relationship with Sakura. And yet he couldn't stop, because somewhere in the middle of it all he got confused and he no longer knew who he loved.

Sakura grabbed her gear by the door of their apartment and took out a note she had prepared the night before. She looked at the scroll in her hand for a long time, more sadness invading her heart. She remembered her discussion with Tsunade the day before, her discussion with her Shishou fresh in her mind.

"_But Sakura, in your condition-"_

"_I'm a shinobi of the leaf, Tsunade-sama, and I'm qualified for this mission."_

"_I'm not arguing with that, Sakura, but you know damn well the probability of-"_

"_Yes, I do."_

_Tsunade stared in disbelief at her apprentice. She knew this was a suicide mission, which is why she had offered it to all of ANBU before she would assign anyone to it. She couldn't in good conscience pick someone to go into their sure death. But Sakura volunteering for this? She didn't know what was going on with the girl._

"_Sakura, what does Kakashi say about this?"_

"…"

"_Sakura, Kakashi knows right? You know he has a right to know-"_

"_Let's leave my lover out of this Tsunade-sama. He is also a shinobi and we have always known the dangers of our professions. Plus, I'm sure he'll be thrilled."_

_The coldness of her statement only sounded painful to Tsunade. So Kakashi didn't know. Tsunade knew Sakura well and it was unlike the girl to be cruel without reason. _

"_Shishou, please trust me on this. You know better than anyone else how much thinking and analysis I do before making a decision. If I'm asking you to serve Konoha and possibly give my life in the process, I'm only honoring the code that I live by. But if you want further explanation will it suffice to say that I know in my heart and soul that I'm making the best decision for me and everyone involved in my life?"_

_Tsunade looked at her apprentice with loving eyes. She had grown into a beautiful woman and at 24 Sakura was at her peak. She had to respect her decision because what she had said was true. Sakura was smart and the days when she made hasty decisions based on impulses were long gone. This adult Sakura was calculated and logical, and she must have good reasons to do as she wanted. Still, Tsunade could not help the knot forming in her stomach._

"_Promise you will come back."_

_Sakura smiled tenderly at the woman she saw as a second mother. "I promise I will do everything in my power to come back to you, Shishou."_

Sakura smiled at the memory while a couple of stray tears ran down her face. She turned to look at the apartment one more time, her gaze lingering in pictures of happier times, in places where love had once been consummated. Then a painful look crossed her gaze as she wondered if _she_ had also been in those places, if he had taken _her_ in the same places Sakura had given herself to him before. The hot tears forming in her eyes would not let up and she just felt more pain at knowing that the trust was gone and that the one-time sacred haven that was her home was no longer sacred. She put the scroll down on the table by the door, the one where the keys usually go. She touched it with care, the last tears rolling down her beautiful face. She knew he wouldn't find it for a while, maybe days, since he chose the windows as his preferred method of entering and leaving places. She smiled sadly.

Turning to the door she exited the apartment thinking that it may be the last time she saw it. She would do everything in her power to return, she had not lied about that. But she also knew the risks of this mission and was hoping never to return to this place. She had once suffered through a broken heart. It had been very difficult for Sakura to mend the pieces of the heart that Sasuke destroyed. But she had only given him her heart and mind, her devotion had been one sided and innocent enough to be reparable. What she had with Kakashi, however, was something much stronger than anything she had ever experienced. She not only loved Kakashi with her heart and her mnd, but with her body and ultimately her soul. The pain of finding out his betrayal was all consuming, and she knew that this break would never repair; she knew the pieces were too small and sharp to ever be mended together. If she had to describe what she felt, she would have to say that her feelings laid in the difference between a broken vase and a shattered one. Kakashi had done away with the last of her heart and love.

Sakura traveled through the village with her cloak and pack on her shoulders, her eyes alert and taking in all of Konoha in its morning glory. She had loved this place and she always wanted to remember it as bright and alive as this morning when she would leave it. For good. Her steps took her to the red gate where she waved to two sleepy guards. Her gaze lingered on the village once more before taking to the trees and preparing for her impossible mission.

* * *

><p>The last enemy fell as Sakura collapsed to the floor panting heavily and bleeding profusely, the katana still embedded in her body. She made some signs and a small slug appeared in front of her.<p>

"Take this to Tsunade and tell her that the mission was completed successfully," said Sakura as she handed the slug a scroll that the animal rolled in her tongue. "And tell her that I kept my promise but wasn't powerful enough to fight fate."

The little slug turned her head sideways and Sakura smiled.

"Thank you for your service to me all these years. Please, go now and don't worry about me."

The slug shed a tear as it disappeared behind a cloud of smoke. Sakura felt like letting some of her own tears free, but she wouldn't. She knew Tsunade would send for her body and she would be remembered honorably, not with a tear stricken face.

Slowly, she gathered the will and strength to stop the tears and turn herself on her back, the warm rising sun touching her cheeks. She removed the Katana from her torso and moved her hands to her stomach, a green glow lighting the area. _You're still here,_ she thought somberly while she started healing the areas to protect and lengthen the life inside of her. _I'm sorry,_ she said quietly to the product of a love that she knew was now gone while her chakra failed her and her eyes started to close, heavy with exhaustion. _I'll miss you, Kakashi, _were her last thoughts before everything went dark. A sudden breeze made her hair and some of the leaves around her spiral in the air before dying down as quickly as it came.

* * *

><p>Kakashi sat in the training grounds overlooking his new genin team while he read his Icha Icha book. He couldn't believe he had been ordered to have another group of annoying kids under his tutelage. Wasn't his failure the first time around not enough to prevent anyone to trust him with their kids? He shook his head in disbelief as he watched the little ones trying to climb a tree. He remembered Sakura's reaction the first time he told her he was getting a new group. <em>'All I'm saying is that you are not allowed to interact with your female genin outside of training. We know how the first time around went.'<em> He chuckled as he thought of her, that pink haired time bomb and her damn wittiness. She always had a smart remark for him and pushed his buttons as much as he pushed hers. Okay, okay, not as much, but he wasn't quite as cute as she was when she got mad.

He chuckled again as he thought of her pout when he would say something that didn't please her. She was something else, alright. He still couldn't believe she had once been a genin under him, especially when he looked down at the little girl on the ground trying to climb a tree. He should have known that no other girl would ever be like his Sakura. He missed her already, it had been three days since she left and he missed her. He wondered when she would be returning? He had a surprise planned out for her. _There is much to make up to her,_ he thought sadly as he let out a sigh.

He had decided the day before that he needed to end things with Kurenai. It was the right thing to do. He didn't know if he had started to love the ruby eyed kunoichi, but at least he knew he loved Sakura more, or at least more than he loved Kurenai at the moment. He was meeting her this afternoon and he was going to tell her that things were over. He was being an asshole, a no good, two-timer SOB and he was tired of the guilt. He was in the middle of his self pep talk when a chilling breeze blew through the trees making every hair on his back stand. As quick as it came, it went away, but the damage was done. Something in the pit of his stomach stirred and he suddenly felt nervous. _Sakura_.

He jumped down and told the team that practice for the day was over. He ran to his apartment and jumped through the window into their bedroom. Nothing. He went into the main room and didn't see any signs of her either. He was about to head out when the door suddenly blew open and leaves flew in, the strength of the breeze bringing down the small table by the door.

Kakashi felt more concerned by the second and walked to the door to close it. He picked up the table and was replacing its contents when something caught his attention. He didn't remember the scroll being a part of the decoration. He opened it to read it and slowly his hands starting fisting as they held the paper with growing force. His gaze went over the lines once again while his whole body tensed, his light trembling barely perceptible. A second later he had jumped out of the living room window, the scroll gripped tightly in his hand and chakra in his feet as he went full speed to the Hokage's office.

Kakashi ran down at least four people on his mad race to the brown doors of the leader of Konoha's office. He didn't bother to knock when he got there and just pushed his way in while speaking rather loudly.

"Tsunade-sama, I need to know if-"

His sentence was cut abruptly at the scene in front of him. Shizune stood with her head bowed and tears running down her face, while Tsunade looked sullenly at an ANBU team nodding a dismiss. What made the copy nin's heart stop was the little slug that sat on the Hokage's desk with tears of its own. Kakashi was very familiar with the animal, and its presence in this room, in this scene, was something that he was starting to get scared about.

"Kakashi," said Tsunade in a strained voice. "It's about Sakura."

Silence fell in the office of the fifth. Three figures stood in the midst, one with sadness in her eyes and a slump in her throat, one with tears in her face and inconsolable sobs, and one with guilt and despair in his heart. As the blonde let a tear slip down her cheek, the silence was interrupted by the sound of a scroll hitting the floor and bouncing on it a couple of times. Its contents visible as the paper stretched out on the flat surface.

_Kakashi,_

_I love you with all my heart, with all that I am and all I'll ever be. I'm sorry it wasn't enough for you. It is said that if you truly love someone, sometimes you got to let them go. So, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you happiness with her._

_Love always,_

_Sakura._


	2. Hanging onto Hope

A/N: This story was originally published in 2008. I have to say that years later, re-reading it, I don't think it's my best and thought of redoing it. However, it is what it is and since this was a request for the original story, here it goes!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Hanging onto hope<strong>

A sudden gasp and she felt her whole body ache in pain as she took a much needed breath. She felt her heart slowly beat again and was aware of shouting around her, a deafening roar in the background.

"Stay with me," she heard the whisper near her ear. "You are going to live, just hang on."

She forced her eyes to open and she saw a pair of soft blue eyes staring back at her. There was worry in that gaze, but also peace and confidence, and for a second before Sakura blacked out once again she felt safe, like she used to do when she stared at mismatched eyes.

* * *

><p>Kakashi sat on his bed, his elbows on his knees and his head buried in his hands. There was desperation in his heart, a sense of devastation and failure in his soul. He had lost her. He had driven the only woman he loved into her death, <em>because she loved me back. <em>

"Why Sakura…" his strangled whisper echoed in the empty room. He felt his chest tighten even more, something he didn't think was even possible. There was so much pain and regret inside of Kakashi. Every word on the scroll that laid on the floor at his feet played in his mind, intertwined with the words from Tsunade of just hours ago.

(entering flashback between his conversation with Tsunade and the words in the scroll)

_I love you with all my heart_

"It's about Sakura"

_With all that I am_

Kakashi let go of the scroll when he saw the lone tear ran down Tsunade's face. The sudden fear that invaded his heart overtook his ability to hold on to it, it was taking all his strength to stay standing.

_And all I'll ever be_

"Is she.." was the only thing he was able to mutter with evident distress.

"I have just sent an ANBU squad to recover her body."

_I'm sorry it wasn't enough for you_

"But why?" he said much louder, his voice full of untold emotion and his body failing him as he stepped close to a chair to hold on to its arm. He knew the answer.

"She knew the risks of this mission, Kakashi. She asked for it." Tsunade fought back the tears as her voice failed her and it cracked. "I tried to warn her that in her condition the risk was so much greater."

"Her condition?"

_It is said that if you truly love someone,_

Tsunade's face visibly flinched at Kakashi's question. When she talked to Sakura, she had alluded to him not knowing of the mission. But apparently he didn't know about the baby either.

"Tsunade-sama, what condition?" There was a new fear gripping at Kakashi's heart. He was asking a question hoping for an answer that was not what he was thinking. It couldn't be what he was thinking.

"Kakashi…I didn't know she didn't tell you." Tsunade saw the usually stoic ninja slightly tremble and she wasn't sure if she should say anymore.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I will let you know when we get news from the team about her status."

_Sometimes you got to let them go._

"Tsunade-sama," Kakashi interrupted her with a slightly grave voice. "What condition?"

Tsunade let another tear slip as she looked at the visible eye of her best jounin, the strongest shinobi in the village. She wondered if he would be strong enough.

"She was pregnant Kakashi."

"No." Kakashi's legs gave out and he fell to the floor lacking his well known grace.

_So, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you happiness with her._

"NO!"

Kakashi shouted as Tsunade approached him and had attempted to help him up. Shizune jumped at his thunderous roar and Tsunade recoiled. His body was assaulted by shakes and another choked whisper was heard in the room as the shinobi slowly raised himself on wobbly limbs.

"Dear Kami…please no"

_Love always…_

(end of flashback/letter)

Kakashi ran his hands through his hair as another tear ran down his cheek. A child. _Our child._ He felt the rake of sobs ran through his body. He hadn't cried like this since the time he walked into a cold room to find a pool of blood and the dead body of the man he adored, his father. Father. He was going to be a father and she didn't tell him. But he knew why. Tsunade had shared with him that Sakura was about seven weeks along. She had argued that maybe Sakura was waiting for the end of the first trimester to tell him. 'A lot of women lose the baby in the first trimester,' she had said. Since Sakura was a medic, Tsunade argued that she was probably waiting to tell him then, but he knew that wasn't the case.

At some point Sakura had found out of his betrayal. He wondered when. If she had been able to pinpoint the start of his affair, then she would know that he was already sleeping with Kurenai when he got her pregnant. And, knowing Sakura like he did, he knew that was a blow that would have done away with the happiness that a child is supposed to bring. He guessed that she didn't tell him because it was too painful for her. Once again, he was reminded that it was his careless actions, his misguided affection for a friend that had brought to him this bitter end. Because it was bitter, to realize how much you want something you didn't think you wanted before only because it's gone. And it was not just Sakura that he was thinking of, but that child, their child. And yet…

Could he dare? Tsunade had said that Sakura's summon had indicated her failing health and lethal wounds, but she was not dead yet. Should he dare? The ANBU squad was rushing to get to the site, and there was a very small chance. Was there enough left in his heart for hope? And if he did, if he held onto the hope that she was alive, then what? Would she forgive him? Would she take him back?

The sound of steps pulled him out of his reverie and he looked up to find Kurenai looking back at him from the door of the bedroom.

"What are you doing here?"

Kurenai was taken aback by the appearance of her old friend turned lover. She had never seen him this way, this destroyed.

"You were supposed to stop by and you didn't, so I came looking for you. Kakashi, are you okay? What's wrong?"

Kakashi looked at Kurenai with pained eyes. She was so out of place here, in _their_ bedroom. He used to see her beauty, but all he could see right now was his mistake.

"You don't belong here," was all he said to her as he took his head into his hands again. Tormented thoughts of what he did with this woman plaguing him and the too well known guilt returning at an exponentially higher magnitude.

"What?" Kurenai was lost and took a step to get closer to him, to make sure he was alright.

"STOP." His voice was fierce and his tone commanding. It sent a shiver down her spine.

"Don't come any closer, Kurenai. This is Sakura's space; you have no right to be here."

Kurenai was taken aback by his stone cold voice and crude words.

"I didn't come for that, Kakashi. I just worried-"

"Don't," he interrupted her. "Don't worry about me, don't think about me, don't talk to me. I was going to tell you this afternoon that we are done, that I've had enough with the guilt and the sneaking around. I was going to tell you that Sakura doesn't deserve this. But I was too late."

Kurenai was staring at Kakashi with wide eyes. What was going on? She knew she was wrong by asking him to return to her bed for some release, but there were no feelings involved and they had known each other long enough to be able to do this discreetly. So, how did Sakura find out? Because it was obvious that Sakura left him and that was why he looked so devastated.

"Kakashi, I'm sorry. I never meant to cause you trouble. I'm sure if I explain to Sakura, then-" Kurenai stopped talking when he heard his chuckle turned cry. "Kakashi?"

He raised his teary eyes and Kurenai had to step back. In all the years of knowing Kakashi, she had never seen the man cry.

"Do you think she left me? Is that what you think? No, Kurenai. She didn't leave, she stepped aside. She loved me so much that she wanted me to be happy," his voice cracked as the tears fell. "She thought that you were what made me happy and so she took a suicide mission so I wouldn't have to choose. And she believed this was for the best."

Kurenai watched with tears forming in her eyes the slumped body of a man she had come to know so intimately as it trembled, all that control he was known for gone.

"And you want to know the best part, huh? She was pregnant. I was going to be a d-" his voice left him as he pulled on his hair, his entire being drowning in despair.

Kurenai brought her hand to her mouth as the shock of what she just heard made her involuntarily gasp. What the hell had they done? What had she done?

"DAMMIT! I hate you, Kurenai. I hate you because you are proof of how weak I am, of how I don't deserve her, of how all those years of Icha Icha really warped my head, cause only a warped mind would ever think it is okay to sleep with a friend to help her while you are committed to a different woman. And what the hell is commitment to me anyway? I left her bed to go to yours, to give you release, to give myself pleasure, and came back and crawled back into her bed. And what did she do? She loved me back, blindly, unselfishly, completely, and unguardedly. And I gave her back betrayal, dishonesty, infidelity, and a child. A CHILD!"

Kakashi was fisting his hands so tight his knuckles were white. There was so much rage in him now, rage born from his mistakes, from his inadequacies.

"And I know it's my fault for saying yes, but it's also your fault for asking. We didn't respect her enough. And even though I'm at the most fault here, it takes two to tango. So we are done. I can't be your friend, I most definitely cannot be your lover, I can't stand to see you, but more than anything, I cannot stand to see you in this place. This is my place with her and you need to leave and never again desecrate it by being here. I never brought you here before for a reason, and I don't ever want to see you again. Not here ever, not aside from duty in the future."

It was all true and there was nothing left to say, she knew. Kurenai turned to leave and with a heavy heart disappeared. She was afraid for Kakashi, guilt gnawing at her soul with the knowledge that her selfishness had brought so much pain to someone who didn't deserve it, someone who got caught in the middle. But what she feared most, what made her feel the most regret, was the possibility that he would never recover from this blow.

* * *

><p><em>Who are you? <em>thought the young man, soft blue eyes looking intently at the pink-haired beauty while miraculous hands lovingly stroke her hair.

Sakura laid on a hospital bed, all sorts of monitors beeping around her as her stats were being constantly monitored. The room was cold and small, but it was sterile and containing state of the art equipment, what you would expect in an ICU of one of the newest hospitals in Tokyo.

"Doctor, OR 2 is ready."

"Thanks. I'll be there in a second," replied the young man standing from his seat next to the unknown beauty. His gaze lingered on her form for a little while longer before he turned his scrubs-clad body around and left the room.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean you couldn't find her?" Kakashi stood dumbfounded in front of Tsunade.<p>

"I'm just reading you what was sent back. All bodies are accounted for, except for Sakura. They are tracking her location as we speak. There seems-"

"I need your permission to go, Tsunade-sama," interrupted Kakashi.

"Kakashi, you know-"

"that I'm one of the best trackers in Konoha. And I know that I'm too involved. But no one loves her like I do and no one will have the determination that I have. I will bring her back, Tsunade-sama. Let me go bring her back."

The pleading in his eye and his obvious broken self made her sigh. Tsunade knew that there was something going on that Kakashi and Sakura had left out and even though she had her suspicions, he was right on two things. He was the best tracker nin around and he would not stop at anything to get her back.

"Go Kakashi."

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, Kakashi, but I lose the scent here. It is almost like she disappeared into thin air along with the scents of those six other people."<p>

"And you are sure you don't recognize those scents, Pakkun?"

"Positive."

Kakashi looked around to see the obvious foot prints and some weird tracks on the ground. The clearing was pretty extensive and as he raised his gaze once again he noticed the disturbance of the foliage surrounding the area. He looked at the marks on the ground and at the area again, his mind going over the possibilities.

"Are there any towns nearby, Pakkun?"

"About three."

"Take me to the closest one," Kakashi commanded.

The little dog nodded and was speeding off. Before Kakashi followed him, he made a sign to the squad to let them know to follow. The bodies had already been disposed at the site of the attack, which was a ways away from this clearing, and the only thing left for them was to recuperate the valued kunoichi.

In no time they arrived at the town and Pakkun immediately picked up some of the scents from the clearing. The men followed Pakkun into what looked like a small hospital and Kakashi's heart skipped with that bit of hope that he was secretly holding onto, hope that she was alive.

"How can I help you?" asked an older looking man as the five ninja and dog walked into the small building.

"Have you aided a pink haired girl injured earlier today?"

"No, I'm sorry. We don't have anyone matching that description here."

Kakashi faltered and after a moment to compose himself he pointed to the ANBU team to go ahead and search the place. He turned to the old man.

"You won't mind if we do a search, right? And also, my dog here has followed the scent of someone that was with my, hm, wife when she got injured to this particular establishment. Was there anyone here injured this morning?"

The old man looked at Kakashi with a raised brow and said, "We haven't treated anyone today, to be honest. We are a small town with little to no medical skills."

Kakashi took in the words of the old man and looked around at the full beds of the place. It certainly looked like a lot of people had been treated recently.

"You seem pretty busy for someone with little medical skills."

The old man smiled and waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "I would like to take credit for all this miraculous work, but we depend on the help from others. We are blessed to have the support of doctor Kaisen. He left early this morning."

Kakashi looked at the man with renewed hope. A small wave of his hand brought the ANBU squad back to his side.

"And where is this doctor Kaisen from?"

"Tokyo."

"And how does he help here? What is his specialty?"

The old man smiled widely. "He is a gifted surgeon. He helps us here in things from broken hips to organ repair and organ transplant."

"He performs surgeries here?" asked Kakashi incredulously looking at the non-existent equipment and rather understaffed place.

"Yes, but he brings his team and equipment with him."

"How?" asked Kakashi.

"In his flying bird, of course!"

Kakashi's eyes widened and he turned to the team, everybody understanding what had happened.

"Return to Konoha and inform Tsunade of the developments. I'm heading to Tokyo."

The ANBU captain looked at Kakashi behind his mask for a long moment before he nodded and left with his team. The trek to Tokyo was at least 5 days and he knew that without preparation, it was going to be hard to get there. However, he also knew Kakashi and his relationship to Sakura, so he was sure if someone would find her, it would be him.

Kakashi thanked Pakkun for his help and after the pug disappeared, he turned to the old man and with a heavy heart asked his question.

"Do you know what hospital doctor Kaisen works at?"


	3. Old Saying

**A/N: **This chapter is also the original. The old saying is supposed to be Richard Bach's "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if not they never were."

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Old Saying<strong>

Sakura had awoken and her ninja skills had jumped into action. She continued the same pace of her breathing, realizing that she was attached to some type of machine by her mouth but not bounded in any other sort of way. She could hear the steady beeping of machines around her, the smell of disinfectant permeating around her, and she had to guess that she was in a hospital. One last check to make sure she didn't feel any threatening chakra around her and she decided it was safe to open her eyes. Slowly, she willed her lids to open and as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room she felt someone rise from her side and step closer to her.

"You are finally awake," she heard.

Viridian eyes met soft blue ones and she immediately recognized them. These were the eyes that she saw before she passed out. These eyes had made her feel safe when she had lost all hope, all trust. She wanted to ask him who he was but realized that something was stuck in her throat.

"Hold on, hold on. I gotta take this out. Just breathe out when I say, okay?" said Kaede as he stepped closer to her and grabbed the breathing tube. "Now!"

Sakura blew out and felt something dislodge from her throat. She coughed out of reflex a couple of times until she felt a strong hand on her shoulder pushing her up and a straw being put into her mouth.

"Drink this. It will help with the soreness."

Sakura drank the water and felt immensely better. As she drank, she couldn't help but stare into the intense gaze of the man helping her, a man that didn't look like a ninja and was dressed in what looked like medical attire, the white overcoat a dead giveaway.

"Who are you?" Sakura finally asked when she felt her voice return to her.

"That's funny, I was going to ask you the same thing," replied Kaede as he gently laid her down on the bed and sat next to her.

"I'm Kaede Kaisen, head of internal surgery here at the University of Tokyo Hospital."

Sakura raised an eyebrow in incredulity. "Tokyo?"

Kaede smiled. "Yes, Tokyo."

Sakura let out a sigh as she turned her head to stare at the ceiling. "What happened?" she asked.

Kaede continued to stare at the beauty in front of him that had entranced him since he first laid eyes on her. "Can you tell me your name first?"

Sakura snapped her head to the left to face him and a faint blush appear on her features. Her eyes danced with mischief and Kaede had to wonder about the sudden skip in his heart.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't…I mean, it's so rude of me. I assumed you had identified me, but anyway, my name is Sakura. Haruno Sakura."

"Sakura," Kaede smiled tenderly at her. "It fits you," he said as he moved his hand to stroke her cheek. Sakura blushed harder this time, not sure why she suddenly felt warmer than before. "You scared me, Sakura. You have been unconscious for four days."

Snapping out of his trance, Kaede removed his hand and started his tale.

"Anyway, twice a year I take my medical team and we visit remote areas with little medical resources and offer free medical treatment, specifically surgeries. After a week stay at one of those places, we were loading the chopper in a nearby clearing when something caught my attention. It was still really early so it was dark outside, but I saw a faint green glow from somewhere in the forest. I decided to check it out, and that's how I found you. The glow started to grow fainter and as it finally disappeared I saw you among all those bodies."

There was concern in his voice and Sakura just stared at this healer in front of her who was describing how out of pure chance he was drawn to her chakra glow.

"Anyway, the sun had started to come out and I swear it was like the skies were showing me to you. The first rays of the sun snuck through the heavy foliage and were pointing directly at you. I ran to your side yelling for my team to bring a stretcher. I felt that you were warm, but not breathing, and given the blood loss and obvious deep injuries, I wasn't sure if you had a chance. I started to give you CPR and after a couple of rounds you finally came through. My team joined us and we checked the others. Unfortunately, you were the only one that was left alive."

Sakura's smirk confused Kaede and he looked at her questioningly. Pride exuded out of the young woman and if Kaede didn't know better, he would think that she was happy to hear that the whole group had died except for her.

Sakura saw the question in his eyes and felt the smugness from her face disappear. This man was a healer and he obviously didn't know that he had stumbled upon a ninja, a deadly ninja at that. Did he even know what a ninja does?

"Were they your friends?" he asked cautiously.

"No. They were my enemies."

Understanding washed over Kaede. He remembered the difference in their clothing, but he thought that she and the others had been ambushed or attacked. He had been afraid that she had been abused, but he had found no evidence of anything beyond sword and kunai wounds. But if she was saying they were her enemies, and given her smile of moments ago, did that mean that she…

"Did you kill them?"

"Yes. That was my duty."

"Duty?" Kaede couldn't believe that this beautiful and gentle woman had killed the group that he stumbled upon. They were large men in that group, and she almost died in the process.

"Kaede, what do you know about ninjas?"

His anger disappeared at her question and surprise overtook him. Ninjas? He had heard of them and knew that they still existed in those remote places he visited, but he had never met one.

"Are you trying to tell me that you are a ninja?"

Sakura smiled widely at his disbelief and she brought her hand to her belly. A soft green glow ensued in the room and Kaede's eyes widened as he recognized the glow.

"Not just a ninja, but a medic ninja," she said. She closed her eyes checking her body and her once happy face suddenly fell. A deep sadness engulfed her beautiful features and he knew that somehow she knew.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I tried, but your body had gone through so much stress and I had to repair so much tissue.."

"It's okay," she answered in a much lower voice. "You saved my life."

A silence ensued as the glow disappeared and a couple of tears fell down her cheeks. Kaede grabbed a box of tissues nearby and brought them closer to her. She opened her eyes to watch the sadness in his. She suddenly felt grateful for the kindness of this man, a man that had done the impossible and brought her back from death. She also knew that maybe losing the baby was for the best. After all, she was no longer in a relationship with the man that had been the father.

"Let me show you something," she said quietly to the man that looked guilty and sad sitting by her side.

She pulled down the covers a bit and raised her gown somewhat to show her belly and the stitches were he had apparently opened her to fix her. She brought her hands to the place, performed a couple of hand signs and the glow appeared again. Kaede sat dumbfounded as he watched Sakura heal the incision and in a matter of minutes, she had closed the wound completely.

"But…How…is that even…" Kaede had never stuttered in his life, but he found himself unable to speak as his mind processed what he was seeing.

"Do you have time for me to tell you my story?" asked Sakura with a smile.

Kaede sat on the chair next to her and brought it closer to the bed. "I'll make the time."

* * *

><p>It had been long and strenuous six days but Kakashi finally made it to the outskirts of Tokyo. He had been here once before, a long time ago, with a group of ANBU on reconnaissance. It was easily one of the most interesting places he had been. There were so many people crammed into one place, no trees, no smiles, lots of smog. He never understood the allure of the place.<p>

Kakashi entered the city and after curious looks and stares, he was finally pointed in the direction of the nearest hospital. The old man did not know where doctor Kaisen worked, but Kakashi figured that one hospital should know where other doctors were, right? At least he hoped so.

His mind had centered on Sakura his whole trip. He had not wanted to hold onto hope, but he did. He couldn't imagine her dead, nor did he want to. He wanted to find her alive, to see her emerald gaze once again, to feel her soft lips on his one more time. Would she let him? Would she forgive him and take him back? He had held onto the hope that she was alive, but he didn't know if he should hold onto the hope that she would take him back.

"Can I help you?" a young woman asked behind a desk inside the hospital.

"Yes, I'm looking for doctor Kaisen. Do you know where I can find him?"

"Let me see," answered the girl giving him a curious look and typing something on a machine in front of her. "I don't see any doctor Kaisen listed in this hospital. Are you sure you are in the right place?"

"No," he answered as he rubbed the back of his neck. "My best friend was injured and she was brought to Tokyo by air by this doctor Kaisen. He failed to mention where he worked."

The girl looked at him suspiciously, there was fear and insecurity in her eyes. In an instant, he pulled his mask down and smiled sadly at her.

"Please, miss, I need your help. She means the world to me and I have traveled six days to see her. Is there any way you can help me find this doctor Kaisen?"

The girl had hearts in her eyes and nodded dumbly as she typed some more on her machine. She sighed happily and Kakashi just shrugged off the feeling of smugness that tried to overcome him. He knew he was easy on the eyes, but he never understood the reaction of women to him. Except Sakura's. She never looked at him all gooey eyed, no. She was a woman that looked at him with respect and admiration and love, and she used to say that his face was just an added bonus. _Sakura._

"Aha! Doctor Kaisen works at the University Hospital. It is here in this article online," she turned the screen to show Kakashi the excerpt of a news headline.

Kakashi read the screen and open his one eye wide. The headline read "Heaven-sent Hands" and talked about a doctor Kaede Kaisen who worked miracles in surgeries, prolonging the life of many that had been believed to have no hope of recovery. The article had a picture of the man, dark hair and baby blue eyes staring back at him with a humble semblance on his face.

"Can you tell me how to get there?"

"If you can wait two hours, my shift is over and I can take you there myself," replied the girl behind the desk with a wink.

Kakashi smiled at her. "I would love to wait, but what if she is dying?" Noticing the girl's scowl, Kakashi added, "Plus, once I'm sure she is doing okay, I can come back and find you to thank you properly."

There was a renewed happiness in the girl's eyes and she scribbled something on two pieces of paper. She gave him the notes and said,

"Use this note to give to the man inside that yellow car. He will know where to go. This other note is my phone number and the address to my place. You can come thank me there."

With another wink, the lady turned around to give him a view of her backside. If Kakashi wasn't already in trouble when it came to women, he might have appreciated her nice shape.

* * *

><p>"Wow," was all that Kaede could say to Sakura after she finished her story. They were sitting in her room, she on her bed and him on the chair, sharing some breakfast that he had brought for them. They had talked all night the day before yesterday, most of the day yesterday during his breaks, and all this morning. He had found her story fascinating, the life of the shinobi and kunoichi that were to him a myth embodied in the woman that sat so close to him, a woman that he found irresistible.<p>

"That's all you have to say?" she asked playfully while she took another sip of her chicken soup.

"I have no words to describe what I want to say," he answered with a cheeky smile.

She laughed heartedly at his response and shook her head at his antics. She had come to respect this man who was humble and sweet and who, according to the nurses, was the best in his field. A miracle healer, they said. And yet, he was always quiet and shy, his manner soft and gentle. She found him to be refreshingly honest, transparent in his feelings and giving of his thoughts. He was so different from the shinobi he knew, so different from the aloof and stoic ninja that she loved.

"It does explain why I thought I saw some scaring on some of the tissue that I was healing. You did a good job of healing yourself," he continued.

"Well, I would have done better if I had any chakra left."

"Right, chakra." He nodded his head while he thought that he would never understand some of the stuff she said. And yet, he also wondered why he had spent this past week by the side of this stranger, a stranger that he felt surprisingly close to. Was it maybe the healing powers in both of them that made them kindred souls? He didn't know the reason or type of attraction between them, but he recognized that there was one.

They were interrupted by a nurse calling on the speaker in the room.

"Doctor Kaisen, you have a visitor in lobby 4."

"A visitor?" asked Kaisen more to himself than to the nurse on the speaker. "I'll be down there in a minute."

Kaede picked up the remains of his breakfast and threw it away. He looked at Sakura and leaned over to kiss her forehead. He was very affectionate towards her, and even though he wasn't sure it was appropriate, she never complained.

"I'll be back when I can," he said as he stepped away.

"See you later," replied Sakura with rosy cheeks.

Kaede left the room and headed for the elevators. He couldn't stop thinking about this woman that fate had brought into his life. He had been so worried about her when he found her in the brink of death. He had stayed by her side until she finally came around and was upset at not being able to save her baby. However, now that he knew that she was not married (Sakura had explained that shinobi rarely married) and alluded to the fact that she was no longer in a relationship, he wondered if it was fate that had wanted for that baby to be out of the way as well. His thoughts were stopped when he neared the lobby by the hospital main entrance. A lone figure stood out against the crowd and he temporarily froze at the implications of that presence. He slowly continued to approach the masked-face individual.

"Are you doctor Kaisen?" asked Kakashi eyeing the doctor carefully.

"Yes, I am. Who are you?"

"My name is Kakashi and I'm a jounin of the leaf village. I'm wondering-"

"You are here for Sakura, aren't you?"

Kakashi's visible eye widened and he felt his heart constrict. "Is she…"

Kaeden gave him a slight nod and turned around. "I was just finishing breakfast with her when you arrived. Follow me and I'll take you to her."

Kakashi felt like crying. He would never show it on the outside, of course, but if someone that knew him well had been there, they would have seen the light skip in his steps and the sudden shine in his eye. _You are alive, Sakura_. _There is still hope._

Kaede was hiding the conflicting emotions that ran through his chest. When he had found Sakura, she had whispered a name before passing out again. He had not remembered the name until this 'jounin' introduced himself. Kakashi. This man was who Sakura called out to and most likely was the father of the child that she lost. _The man that is no longer in a relationship with her, _he told himself. And even though he wore a mask, Kaede had seen so much emotion in that lone eye of his. This man loved Sakura, and if he was a ninja and had walked all the way here for her, then…then did he ever have a chance?

Once in the elevator, Kakashi spoke again.

"Is she okay?"

"She is fine. It really is a miracle that she survived, but she is good as new."

Kakashi sighed in relief. "And…is the baby…"

Kaede lowered his head as his suspicions were confirmed. This man had been the father and was now asking about his baby. "I'm sorry," was all he said in a quiet whisper.

Kakashi felt his chest tighten and his heart ache. The baby was gone and with it the hope to have a son or a daughter with the woman he loved. And maybe hope for ever having a child with her because she may not take him back, and after having thought of the possibilities of a child, after having imagined the way _their_ child would look, he could never have a child or want a child with anyone else. His voice came out hoarse and that self control that he prided on failed him. "I see."

Kaede could hear the pain of this man in his voice. He felt bad for him, for having to deal with his failure of saving the child, but it had been so hard just to save her that he had not thought twice about the fetus until now. And now, he hated himself for having thought that it was a good thing the baby was out of the way because it was obvious that regardless of what had happened between Kakashi and Sakura, Kakashi wanted that baby and its loss was something that obviously pained him.

They arrived at the ICU and Kaede escorted him to her room. Kakashi could feel her chakra the moment the elevator doors opened and was walking faster than the doctor, his feet leading him to the woman he had thought lost forever.

"Do you know where you are going?" asked Kaede amused at the man that was walking ahead of him.

"I can feel her chakra."

Kaede stopped abruptly and Kakashi turned to address him when he noticed.

"Is it okay for me to see her alone?"

"Yes," Kaede finally said. "Just don't cause her too much stress or it may send her into shock. Okay?"

"Hmm," replied Kakashi with a nod and turned back towards the room where her chakra was focused.

Sakura sat on the bed looking at the ceiling and thinking of Kaede. He was so caring and gentle, and she didn't have to guess anything with him, didn't have to read in between the lines, didn't have to see underneath the underneath. She chuckled to herself as she thought of Kakashi's teachings. He had been such a bad teacher, really. She didn't even know if he taught her anything valuable. But then she frowned because she knew that wasn't true. No matter how much Kakashi had hurt her, he would always have a special place in what was left of her heart. And then she felt it.

It couldn't be. She closed her eyes in concentration and there was no mistake. It was his chakra that she felt approaching. He was there. He had come…for her.

"Sakura."

His voice was quieter, deeper, hesitant, with a lot of feeling in it. She didn't want to open her eyes, she didn't want to face him, not yet.

"Sakura," he said a little louder, a little more forceful, a little more confident.

_I can't, Kakashi. Please._

"Sakura…please…"

Sakura opened her eyes and green sad eyes face the most remorseful and apprehensive mismatched eyes she had ever seen. His hitae in his hands, the weary lines on his face, his mask pulled low on his neck, Kakashi looked like he was on the verge of tears and she didn't know what to do.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura. I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry."

She felt his body embrace her, his strong arms wrap around her petite body with incredible care, silent tremors shaking his body. She couldn't help the tears that poured down her face, her numb arms at her sides. She couldn't get herself to return his embrace. She couldn't even get herself to lean into him.

"Sakura," he whispered against her ear. His voice filled with pain and sorrow.

"Kakashi, please, let me go."

Kakashi heard her words and felt like he had been stabbed a thousand times in the heart. He slowly removed himself from her and just sat on the bed next to her, in the same spot where just minutes ago Kaede had sat. To Sakura, it just didn't seem right.

"Is Tsunade aware?"

Kakashi couldn't hide his emotions as these reflected clearly in his face. He was hurt by her coldness, pained by her refusal to forgive him. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Now that I have verified you are alive, I need to let her know that update. I also need to know when you can return home. Doctor Kaisen, when will she be able to leave?"

Kakashi never turned and Sakura never noticed, but Kaede felt a bit ashamed at having quietly witnessed the exchange between the two. All pride aside, he stepped into the room and spoke with confidence.

"Sakura, you will be released from ICU today and will be transferred to a regular room for observation. You can leave as early as the day after tomorrow if everything continues to progress as good as it has until now."

Sakura just smiled at Kaede giving him comfort that he had not overstepped his bounds, but it was this look that made Kakashi turn and face the man that saved his Sakura. The now maskless face of Kakashi made Kaede open his eyes wide. This man was handsome, his features delicate and his eyes imposing. He exuded confidence and mystery and he knew immediately that he was out of his league.

"Thank you, doctor," replied Kakashi. His gaze telling him, in no uncertain terms, to leave.

"Right. Well, Sakura, press the red button if you need anything," said Kaede as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

"Sakura, why did you do this?"

"I should be asking you the same thing, Kakashi."

Kakashi's face showed guilt as he lowered his head. He told her everything then. From the bet at the bar of who could drink the more sake. To the tale of how Kurenai had offered to help him home. How he ended up in her home instead and even though he refused, he didn't do it that strongly. How he had felt dirty and ashamed and missed her even more. Sakura had been away in a three week mission and he had been alone to deal with the remorse. How he loved her and only her, even if he had been an idiot to give into Kurenai's request of another night together.

Sakura listened to his explanation, the remains of her shattered heart cracking deeper as she asked questions like 'did you come', 'did she come', 'how many times', 'was she better than me', 'did you do her in our home'. Kakashi replied to each question with honesty, each one of them tearing his heart as well as he realized more and more just how deep the scar would be. When he was done with his story and she was done with her questions, they just sat quietly not looking at each other.

"I was going to end it Sakura. How did you find out?"

Sakura chuckled with sadness. "I found out I was pregnant and couldn't wait to tell you. I went to look for you at the training grounds, restaurants, bar, rooftops, nothing. I ran into one of your students and he said that you usually took off early on Wednesdays. It made me curious. He said that he had seen you talking to Kurenai on one of such days and so I went to ask her if she had seen you. Imagine my surprise. You were too, hmm, busy to notice."

Kakashi felt disgusted with himself. He should have been able to sense her, but apparently he had been too enthralled in his ministrations with Kurenai to notice that his partner was looking at him while he cheated on her. And when she was coming to tell him that they were going to have a baby! He was the lowest of scum, no doubt about it.

"Sakura," he said coarsely. "I can't tell you how sorry I am."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Kakashi. There is nothing left between us…nothing anymore."

Kakashi looked at her and she was surprised to see the tears in his eyes. She had never seen Kakashi cry before.

"Our baby, Sakura." Tears fell from his eyes down his face and the sight was so foreign to Sakura. "We lost our baby."

Sakura didn't know what to think. The way his body trembled and the tears that fell down his face, his lowered head and his silent sobs, it all was so weird to her. She didn't think he would have liked the news, especially since he was having some on the side, but she never expected him to react like this. Had he wanted this baby? Could he want to be a father?

"Kakashi, I'm sure Kurenai can make you a father as well."

The way his head snapped up with so much force and the strength in his mismatched gaze made her recoil a bit.

"Sakura, I know I've been an idiot, but make no mistake about this. I could only have kids with you. I only want kids with you."

Sakura stared at Kakashi with complete shock on her face. They had never discussed children and she had always assumed that he didn't want any. She had been afraid of his reaction when she first suspected of her pregnancy, but she had been certain when she found him in bed with Kurenai that he would never want kids.

"Sakura, please, you have to give me a chance. I know it will be hard, I know it won't be easy, but you have to. I beg you. We'll start from scratch. We'll return and you can move to your own place and I'll move to a smaller one. We can start from there. I know it will be hard to get you to trust me again, but it's not impossible. I'll do anything you want, Sakura. You can have an ANBU operative on me at all times, I don't care. You can ask me to stay in one place at all times, to follow you around town when you are not in a mission, I'll do whatever it takes Sakura. But please, please, let me have a chance to make this right. Because if you can't forgive me, Sakura, if you can't let me have this chance, then please, just go ahead a put a kunai through my heart and end me."

Kakashi took her hand in his and stared into her eyes. New tears forming in his as well as hers.

"I thought I died when Tsunade told me you had died, Sakura. I had never felt that pain before, not with Obito, not with dad. You are the one person in this world that can cause me the utmost happiness and the most wretched pain to ever exist. So, please, Sakura come back with me. Forgive me. Give me another chance."

Sakura stared at Kakashi with tears falling down her cheeks. It had not been easy for her to deal with the knowledge of the betrayal for the two weeks she knew, but to see Kakashi in this state, the man that she loved with all her heart and soul, how could she refuse? Slowly, finally, her arms responded to her and she lifted herself towards him. Within a second his arms were wrapping around her and both their bodies shook as their emotions took hold of them. Their pain, their fear, their loss, all of that weighing heavily on their souls where only each other could bring total peace, no matter how comforting a kindred soul could be, not Kurenai and not Kaede could ever be to each of them what each other was. His husky whisper made her heart leap and made hope renew.

"If they come back, they're yours."

Another tear escaped her as she replied to him, strengthening their embrace. "If they don't, they never were."


	4. As long as we are together

**A/N**: And the original epilogue

* * *

><p>"It still amazes me," said Kaede as he walked down the halls of Konoha's hospital.<p>

"Just like it amazes me to see you in surgery," replied Sakura as she walked by his side.

"Do you think someday Konoha will be ready to share our medical expertise?"

"I think the real question is if Tokyo is ready for ninjas, ne?" answered Sakura with a smile on her face.

"Hm," replied Kaede with a cheeky smile.

Sakura laughed at her friend's antics. It had been two years since Kaede saved her life and she had grown closer to the surgeon over time. He still helped the village at the edge of Fire country and made it a point to visit her at Konoha during those times. This was his fourth visit to town and they had spent the past day catching up.

"Say, you think Kakashi is seething because you didn't go home last night?"

Sakura smirked. "Nah, I crash at the hospital quite a bit."

"Well, you need to stop doing that. Rest is essential for you now."

"Yes, doctor," she teased him.

"Hey, don't blame me for caring." Kaede smiled at the pink haired beauty that held a special place in his heart. He knew he would never be anything beyond her good friend, but that was okay with him. He had realized that they were kindred souls in their medical field, but they were not soul mates.

They stepped out of the hospital and were heading to the Hokage's office. Since this was his last day in Konoha, he had to report to Tsunade what he had learned and share some more techniques with her. He had found that the Hokage was brilliant in the medical field and he loved spending time with her.

The feeling of the sun on his face was very welcomed and he couldn't help but turn his face upwards to bask in the warmth. He heard Sakura giggle and he turned to see her, her left hand went to her eyes to block the sun as she faced him. The sun made something in her hand shine and he smirked as he thought of how to tease her.

"You know, a medic ninja once told me that shinobi rarely married."

Sakura blushed lightly as she looked at the ring on her hand. "That wasn't a lie."

Sakura couldn't help but smile as she thought of her life. It had been a hard road, a really tough year when she and Kakashi first returned. Hojwever, they had worked hard on their relationship and she had been thrilled when after finally regaining her trust in him, Kakashi had proposed. It had taken her by surprise, completely. She had not lied when she had told Kaede in that hospital room that shinobi rarely married. Given their professions, it was likely for a ninja couple to be lovers only. It was not rare for a shinobi to marry a civilian, but for a shinobi and a kunoichi, well, the odds were against them.

"So, when are you telling him the news?" asked Kaede as they started up the stairs to the Hokage's tower.

"Friday night. We are having a little party for his birthday. I figure that would be the best time."

Kaede smiled brightly. "I don't think you could give him a better gift."

Sakura nodded and smiled big as well. Kakashi was turning 40 and he was actually pretty okay with it, even though all their friends were giving him a hard time about it.

"Well, it's about time you two came to see me," said Tsunade as she saw the couple in the hall approaching her office. She made a wave to follow her and both Kaede and Sakura entered the Hokage's office to spend the rest of the day there.

* * *

><p>Kakashi sat under a tree while his genin team completed a D-rank mission of cleaning an area by the river. He was trying to concentrate on his book, but he couldn't. He was beyond annoyed and it was something he couldn't help but feel every time <em>he<em> was in town. He knew he had no reason to be jealous. Throughout their relationship, Sakura had always shown him that she was someone that could be trusted. _Unlike me. _He sighed as he remembered what an idiot he had been a couple of years ago, almost losing the best thing that he had because of his misguided actions. But Sakura had never strayed, nor will she ever, he was sure of this. Still, that didn't mean that he wasn't jealous of Kaede. He was.

Kaede was 30, ten years younger than him. He was good looking, fit, nice, and someone that understood Sakura in a field that he knew very little of. More than that, Kaede excelled in the field that Sakura loved and he couldn't help but sometimes wonder if Sakura will wake up one morning and realize that she made a mistake in staying with him.

Kakashi let another sigh escape. He knew he needed to stop thinking like that. Sakura was his wife now, not just a lover that could walk out of his life at anytime. When they had returned to Konoha after her near death experience, she had moved into her own apartment and he had moved into another place as well. He had honored his promise to her and he had started over, courting her and giving her the time and space she needed to trust him again. It was in that time, however, in that year that it took for her to finally accept him back in her life completely that he realized how easily he could lose her.

_FLASHBACK_

_Sakura had first started dating Kakashi when she was 20. They had been together for two years before they moved in together. So, there were a lot of things that Sakura did without in order to be with him. Kakashi wasn't the sociable kind and he preferred to be with her in their apartment over a night out any day. But in the year that they had to patch things up, Sakura decided to make the best out of her newfound single life. She spent a lot of time with her friends in bars and going out to dinners. Kakashi suddenly saw danger in the looks that other males gave her, males that in the past would not have dared looked at her because they knew she was with the famous copy ninja. But since her return, the news of their breakup traveled through Konoha and suddenly Kakashi was doing his best to not go around knocking men out that asked Sakura on dates. So, after much soul searching and deep thinking, he had made a decision. On the one year anniversary of their return, Kakashi had taken her out on a romantic picnic. _

"_Kakashi, this is beautiful!"_

_Kakashi looked at Sakura, the sun setting in the distance and the dying light illuminating her fine features and bright eyes._

"_Not as beautiful as you are, Sakura."_

_Sakura blushed a little and smacked him on the arm saying something like 'You're so cheesy' before she returned to eating her grapes. She noticed that Kakashi looked more tense than usual and she wondered why. She knew that it had been a year since the whole mess and she still hadn't committed to him like she had done in the past. And even though she was ready to go to that next step with him, she didn't want for things to go back the way they were. This time she wanted more and she didn't know if he would want that._

_Kakashi looked at the sky thinking of how to approach the subject that was pressing in his mind. He had been patient, and he would wait for as long as she needed, but he wanted to know where they were, if there was still hope or if Sakura was happier now that she was enjoying her youth._

"_Sakura," he finally broke the silence. "Do I still have a chance?"_

_Sakura opened her eyes wide. "What do you mean Kakashi?"_

_Kakashi turned to look into her eyes. "It's been a year, Sakura. I'm not going to pressure you into anything, I promised you that. But I need to know. Do I have a chance to win your heart back or have you found that there is a better life out there for you?"_

_Sakura looked at his eyes and could see all the emotions that he felt in them. She had been shocked by his question, but she could see where it would come from. She had been spending time with her friends, going to parties and dances and dinners. She couldn't deny that she had been enjoying being 25, but she also couldn't deny how much she missed him._

"_Kakashi, I'm not going to deny that I've been enjoying myself this past year, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss us, you know."_

_Kakashi felt his heart leap. "Have you forgiven me?"_

"_Yes."_

_Kakashi took her hand in his still looking at her intently. "And can you trust me again?"_

_Sakura bit her lower lip. "I think I can, yes."_

"_Sakura, do you love me?"_

_Sakura smiled. "Yes, Kakashi. I still love you."_

"_Sakura," Kakashi inhaled deeply. "I love you with all my heart. I want you back, but I don't want to go back to the way we were."_

_Sakura looked at Kakashi, her eyes full of curiosity and for a moment Kakashi forgot to breath. The silence became deafening. Finally, Kakashi used his free hand to put something in hers._

"_Sakura, I want to be with you forever. If you would have me, I would like the chance to spend the rest of my life with you."_

_Sakura felt something cold in her hand, the one that Kakashi was holding. She opened her palm to see what it was and she gasped at the simple ring that rested there. His words making sense as she looked into his eyes again._

"_Sakura, will you marry me?"_

_Sakura brought her free hand to her mouth as tears filled her eyes. She looked at the ring in her palm again, felt Kakashi's hand under hers slightly tremble, and closing her palm tightly she crushed him in an embrace. _

"_Yes, Kakashi." Tears fell down her cheeks as she said her answer while in his arms. Kakashi wrapped his own arms around her as he tightened their embrace. For the first time in a year, Kakashi was happy._

Kakashi smiled at the memory. He knew that Sakura had chosen him over anything else. So why couldn't he get over his jealousy for Kaede? He sighed in frustration.

"Hey sensei, you okay? You've been sighing an awful lot."

"Maybe that's what old people do. I mean, he is turning 40."

Kakashi frowned at his students. So what if he was turning 40? He didn't know why everybody was making it a big deal about it. Anything that happened to him lately had to be because he was turning 40. If he got hurt in a sparring session, Naruto would say something like 'Getting sloppy in your old age?' Or if Sasuke found him on the streets he would say, 'Walking slow in your old age, huh?' He had always walked slowly! And to add insult to injury, Genma and the rest of his so called friends were throwing him an over the hill party. If it wasn't for Sakura, and the fact that he didn't feel a day over 30, he would probably have fallen into depression.

"Are you guys done, yet?" asked Kakashi as he ignored his students' questions and lost himself in the world of Icha Icha.

* * *

><p>"Forehead!"<p>

"Hi Ino!" said Sakura as she walked into the bar's private room where Kakashi's party was taking place.

"Oi, Kakashi!" yelled Naruto from another table.

Kakashi let go of Sakura's waist and headed to talk to Naruto while Sakura caught up with the girls. He was a bit annoyed at the black balloons and tombstones used for decorations, but he couldn't deny that he felt special at being honored by his friends in this little party.

Ino, TenTen and Hinata sat with Sakura as they caught up with her. Ever since she married Kakashi six months ago, they didn't see her as often as they did when she first broke up with him, but that was okay since Sakura looked the happiest she had in a long time. Soon, Kakashi, Naruto, Neji and Genma joined their girls and carried on a jovial conversation. While they were talking, Ino noticed something.

"Sakura, why are you drinking water? This sake is top notch and we all know how much you like your sake."

"I just…I don't feel like drinking tonight."

Ino raised an eyebrow and Genma looked at her with curiosity. All of a sudden, Naruto got really excited.

"Ano, I remember when Hinata only drank water!"

"Naruto!" Sakura yelled as she blushed. She didn't want him to spoil the surprise yet.

"What's going on?" asked Kakashi facing a guilty looking Naruto and an upset Sakura.

Gai saved the awkward moment by jumping in front of the table and asking his eternal rival to a birthday challenge. Kakashi shrugged his shoulders and joined the green clad ninja, and soon all the friends were standing in a circle watching the two grown men in a yo-yo match (don't ask). The birthday cake was brought out and the presents were opened. Kakashi spent a rather enjoyable evening with his friends while Sakura dodged questions from the girls who had deduced her surprise.

When they finally got home, Kakashi crashed on the couch and brought his wife to sit on his lap. With his arms around her waist, he held her close to him.

"What a day!" he exclaimed.

"I'd say, old man."

Sakura giggled at the pout from the famous copy ninja. She still thought he looked so young and really couldn't believe he was forty. But, it was fun messing with him. Suddenly, she got up and ran to the bedroom. Kakashi looked at her curiously and was about to follow when she returned with a little box.

"I forgot to give you my present," she said with a seductive smile.

"That box is too little for a night gown, but it's big enough for a lacy thong." The smirk on Kakashi's face was met with a gentle slap on his arm.

"Pervert!" said Sakura as she sat on the couch next to him. "Open it and see what it is."

Kakashi looked at her mischievously and opened the box. His face froze and his hands gripped the box tighter as he looked at its contents. His eyes widened and he turned to Sakura, his voice a mere whisper as he tried to find the strength to speak.

"Is this…Does this mean what I think it means?"

Sakura gave him her biggest smile as she looked lovingly at her husband. "Congratulations, Kakashi" she said softly to him.

Before she knew it, he was embracing her, tightly, and when he spoke his voice was full of emotion but so small it was barely a whisper. "Sakura…" He couldn't say anything else as he held his wife in his arms and the little box with a pacifier in one hand.

* * *

><p>"Hey you," whispered Sakura as she brought her arms to wrap around the waist of her husband. "Coming to bed anytime soon?"<p>

Kakashi stood by the crib of his newborn son, his eyes staring at the little miracle that slept peacefully on his back. He had been there since the baby fell asleep, wanting to make sure he was breathing properly.

"Are you sure he should be in his own room? I mean, how would we know if something happens? I've heard of stories of babies dying in their sleep, Sakura. Maybe we should take turns watching him. I'll take first shift."

Sakura chuckled quietly at her overprotective husband. Who would have known that the copy nin was such a worrier. Through her whole pregnancy, or at least since he found out about her pregnancy, he had acted like an overbearing, overprotective bodyguard. She couldn't go anywhere without him. Every little odd thing meant a visit to the hospital. Every kick, every pain, every occurrence carefully documented. The man had turned out to be a better record keeper than his mission reports ever alluded to. She had been so glad when the baby was born, if anything to get him off her case. But alas, he had jumped right into the same thing with the baby.

"Kakashi, this is not a mission. Let's go to bed. He'll be up soon enough as it is."

"Exactly. I'll just be keeping watch until he does."

Sakura let go of him and put her hands on her hips. "And when do you plan to sleep?"

"When you are awake," he said in a tone that sounded like 'duh'.

"Kakashi…" Sakura knew she had to nip this one in the bud.

"Sakura," he finally turned to see her. His eyes were teary and his face showed so much love. "He is so perfect, but he is so little. He needs me, Sakura. He is defenseless right now and I can't get over my fear that this is too good to be true. Remember, it was my mistake that cost us a child before. So please, understand that I need to protect him. I never thought I'd be here and now that I am, I don't ever want to leave."

Sakura smiled lovingly at her husband and embraced him.

"Kakashi, pick Obito up while I move the crib to our room, okay?"

Kakashi smiled widely as he tightened his embrace. "You pick him up. I know exactly where I want the crib."

Sakura just shook her head as she moved to pick their baby up while trying not to wake him. She couldn't help the smile on her face as Kakashi moved the crib right next to their bed, leveling it so that when he lay down he was looking directly at his son.

* * *

><p>"Oi, Kakashi!"<p>

Kakashi turned around to face the loud blonde, a boy by his side and a baby in his arms.

"Yo!"

"Let me see her, let me see her!"

Naruto hadn't changed a bit. He may be almost 30 and had 3 kids with Hinata, but that never stopped him from being completely in love with babies.

"She looks just like Sakura!" exclaimed Naruto.

Bright green eyes and a tuft of very light pink hair stared back at the blonde. Her little fingers wrapped around the one finger that Naruto was using to tickle her.

Kakashi smiled with pride. "So, Hokage-sama. What can I do for you?"

"Eh? I've told you not to call me that kaka-sensei," said Naruto as he picked up Obito and threw him on his shoulders.

"Hm," replied Kakashi as he ruffled the silver hair of his son. A pout and a glare from his charcoal eyes made Kakashi chuckle.

"So, have you considered my offer old man?"

Kakashi scowled. "Yes. And I'm not sure yet. I mean, I'm honored that you would want me to be your advisor, but I don't know if I want to sit at a desk all day. Don't you miss the field and the missions?"

"Not as much as I miss my kids," replied Naruto.

Kakashi looked at the baby in his arms. He knew he wasn't getting any younger and that at 43 he was lucky to be alive. Still, he knew how Sakura worried every time he was out on a mission and he had to agree that he missed his family a lot when he was gone.

"On the condition that we find a way to go on missions at least once a month."

Naruto smiled. "Once a quarter."

Kakashi scowled again. "Fine."

"Really?" asked the blonde with stars in his eyes.

"Really, Naruto."

"That's great, Kakashi! Sakura will be so happy and your kids will get to see you all the time. I know they will be happy too, right Obito?"

"Hm," was the simple reply of the little boy.

"Geez, he's just like you," mumbled Naruto.

Kakashi chuckled. "Well, he _is_ my son, you know?"

"Yeah, how could you not tell! He is a mini-Kakashi. All he needs is a little mask and he would be your spit image."

"Don't be giving him ideas, Naruto," said Sakura who walked up to the men with Hinata by her side.

"Hey you," she said to Kakashi after a quick peck on his lips and another quick peck to her daughter's head.

"Hey," said Kakashi as he snaked one arm around his wife's waist.

"Kakashi just accepted my offer of being my advisor," said Naruto as he kissed his wife and put Obito down next to his kids.

"Really?" asked Sakura as she turned to look at Kakashi with wide eyes.

"Yes, isn't it great?" said Naruto as he started running after the kids. They were heading to the training grounds and Hinata followed after them to make sure they were okay.

"Is this what you really want, Kakashi? I mean, I know you like missions and being out in the field. I don't want you to make a decision because you think it's the right one. I want you to be happy," said Sakura with concern in her eyes.

Kakashi looked at her and stopped to kiss her gently. "I _am_ happy, Sakura, when I'm here with you, with our kids. I still get to go on missions, four times a year. So it really works out for the best."

Sakura smiled at her husband. "Well, as long as you are happy, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiled as he continued to walk to the training grounds. "As long as we are together, Sakura."

-FIN-


End file.
